Healthy ways to process anger

Anger is a natural and important emotion that provides valuable information about our needs and boundaries. However, when left unchecked, it can trap us in a negative loop, escalating our frustration and leading to destructive outcomes. We don’t want that.  And so, here are some techniques I use that help process my anger in a healthy way.

Techniques to process anger: 

1. Physical Expression - Expressing your anger verbally and physically can help release pent-up emotions. I suggest:
   ‍
   
   • Shouting statements like "I HATE THIS!" or "I'M FURIOUS ABOUT IT!" while engaging in some physical activity, like punching a cushion or stomping. This can help you externalise your feelings rather than keeping them bottled up inside.
   • Ensure that this expression is done in a safe environment to avoid causing harm to yourself or others. A good place might be a private room or an open space where you won't disturb anyone.
2. Journalling - Journaling is a powerful way to articulate your feelings. Allow your thoughts to flow spontaneously, without overthinking. Finding the right words can help you understand and process your emotions better. Here are some journal prompts to get you started:
   ‍
   
   • What exactly triggered my anger today?
   • How did I physically feel when I was angry?
   • What underlying emotions might be contributing to my anger?
   • What do I need right now to feel better?
   • How can I address the root cause of my anger?
3. Exercise - Physical activity is an excellent way to release the stress hormone cortisol, which builds up in your body when you're stressed or angry. Activities like running, biking, or even a brisk walk can lower cortisol levels and help you feel more relaxed. A short burst of exercise, even just for 10 minutes, can make a significant difference. The whole process of dealing with anger might only take half an hour but can have lasting benefits.
   ‍
4. Breathing Exercises - Controlled breathing can help calm your nervous system and reduce the intensity of your anger. You might find that when you’re angry, your breathing is a lot more rapid than usual.  One effective technique for managing anger, then, is to consciously slow down your breathing.  Some people do really slow 30 second inhales and 30 second exhales, which are challenging if you haven’t practiced them before, but another method for controlling your breathing is through box-breaths:
   ‍
   
   • Inhaling for 4 seconds
   • Holding the breath for 4 seconds
   • Exhaling for 4 seconds
   • Holding the breath for another 4 seconds
     
5. Shift your focus - After you've acknowledged and expressed your anger, shift your attention to something positive. This is important because it helps break the cycle of anger and prevents you from ruminating on what made you upset. Watching a funny video, engaging in a hobby, or doing something that brings you joy can switch your whole nervous system. It's impossible to stay angry while you're laughing, or - at least - it’s very difficult to!
   ‍
6. Connect and distract - Engage in another task or connect with a friend to divert your attention and prevent dwelling on your anger. Here are a few suggestions:
   ‍
   
   • Tackle a household chore or a project at work. Completing tasks can give you a sense of accomplishment and distract you from your anger.
   • Reach out to a friend or family member. Talking about something unrelated to your anger can provide a mental break and remind you of the support you have.
   • Try mindfulness activities like colouring, knitting, or gardening, which can help you focus on the present moment and reduce feelings of anger.

A deeper impact on anger

Anger often masks deeper feelings of hurt and vulnerability. It's important to recognise that anger can push others away, even when what you truly need is connection. When left unexpressed, anger can turn inward, contributing to feelings of depression. Understanding and addressing the root causes of your anger can help you maintain healthier relationships with yourself and others.

Remember, anger is important information. By learning to process it healthily, you can prevent it from becoming destructive. Implementing these techniques can help you manage your anger and maintain healthier relationships with yourself and others.

Love,

Julia x