Rain was always where we were best
In our own time and place
Our worlds caught in one moment
From the very start
my heart knew yours.
Heaviest but at it’s happiest
My fingers burnt
The hardest way to learn
Cat like curled in this feather nest
I dream of you
Pungent with what is passed
my pillow telling tales on me
My head swims lost at sea
It cuts where we left it unfinished and raw
So who uses who?
When our skin cannot feel another’s touch
our hearts so easily broken
We patch them up and carry on,
Cautious as a scorned, wretched animal
Bruised and bloodied
The scars of our past remain
Branded by our daring to love
I have to ask myself what for, this pain?
To what end are we running to blindly?
Will we be free when we get there?
I can’t steel myself forever
A martyr for lost love
Bathed in tragic light
And yet you come
When I’m naked and so small
Penetrate my fragile thoughts
Distort the clouds behind my eyes
Breathe. Hold it. Carefully hide it. The painful, dark secret.
Too ugly to air. Too heavy a burden to share.
Do you judge me ?
Question my love?
Or just watch, knowing the passing of time makes fools of us all
as we revel in our own meaningless vanities
When I let you go
This anchor around my heart,
I won’t drown, clinging to the wreckage
I must let go of you and swim
Who wants to cry forever to the sea?
My ear to a shell does not hear waves
But only echoes of what used to be
The ticking in our carbon shells
Sands running through until….
And then that familiar fear rises in my chest, of losing you again
And I question myself and my fear
How I got here
And should I just run…..