In this pillar I explain the importance of both living relationships and the continuing relationship with the person who has died. Our relationship with others is key to a good and happy life. And when someone significant in our life dies, the level of our loss will be equal to the quality of that relationship and how much we loved the person who died.
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As our relationship with the world and others is changed by grief, so does our relationship with ourself change.
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We all need to find ways of expressing our grief and loss. It is a uniquely individual process to find what works for us personally.
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It is important to understand that time takes on different hues in grief and loss: Grieving takes longer than anyone wants or expects, we cannot fight it.
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A central pillar is our mind and our body, that has been mightily impacted by the death of the person we love or the big change in our life.
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When we experience a life changing loss it is likely to affect our capacity at work and socially; an important pillar is to recognise the power to say no.
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In the chaos of grief we can feel tilted off our central axis, and it helps to build a pillar of structure.
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Focusing is a well researched practice by Eugene Gendlin which can let us 'pause the on-going situation and find new possibilities for carrying forward'.
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