Esther Ghey: Forgiveness in the Face of the Unforgivable

Some stories stop you in your tracks—not just for the horror they contain but for the courage that follows. Esther Ghey’s is one of them.

In February 2023, her 16-year-old daughter, Brianna, was murdered by two teenagers she thought were her friends. The violence was unspeakable. The messages exchanged beforehand were chilling in their casual cruelty. The kind of language that belongs in horror films, not in the lives of real children.

And yet, Esther Ghey responded not with hatred but with an extraordinary act of grace. She chose to forgive. Not to forget. Not to excuse. But to live—and to lead—with love.

This is the beating heart of The Forgiveness Project: the quiet, defiant stories of people who have broken the cycle of hate. Founded by journalist Marina Cantacuzino in 2004, the project gathers real testimonies from victims, survivors and even perpetrators who have somehow found a way to move through trauma with dignity and empathy. These are not easy stories—but they are deeply human ones. They remind us that forgiveness is not weakness; it’s strength of the rarest kind.

Esther’s memoir, Under a Pink Sky, is a testament to that strength. She speaks openly about Brianna—both as Brett, the child she gave birth to and as the vibrant, determined girl she became. She shares the pain of a system that failed them: the missed interventions, the harmful content Brianna was exposed to online, the screams for help that went unanswered. And still, she reaches out. Today, she speaks regularly with the mother of one of her daughter’s killers. Two women, both grieving, finding common ground in their shared devastation. It’s not reconciliation. It’s something more radical: recognition.

Through The Forgiveness Project, stories like Esther’s become tools for change—challenging our ideas of justice, showing that even in the darkest places, connection is still possible. Her campaigning—for safer online spaces, for mental health support in schools—is not just activism. It’s love in action.

“I have a massive hole in my heart,” she says. “Everything I’m doing isn’t filling it—but in a way, I feel like it’s bringing Brianna on the journey with me.” That is what The Forgiveness Project exists to honour: the brave, complex, often unfinished journeys of those who choose to turn pain into purpose.

Esther Ghey didn’t ask to be part of this story but in choosing forgiveness, she’s shown the rest of us what’s possible. Not a perfect path. But a powerful one.

This week, Esther is also the guest on Therapy Works, and I urge everyone to listen. It’s a conversation that holds immense pain—and also immense wisdom. She speaks with honesty, courage and a quiet force that stays with you long after the recording ends. Her story isn’t just one of tragedy. It’s one of unimaginable resilience and the kind of compassion that offers a path forward for us all.